In a supermarket
Small child's mum: Please stop being so naughty.
Small child: But I don't want to stop.
******
In a library
Young woman: And then I realised I was driving the wrong way round a roundabout.
Young man: Oh, no. What did you do?
Young woman: A three point turn.
******
In a street
Man to his walking companion: But not only is he very hairy, he reads The Economist. For fun.
Walking companion: Eh?
******
In a yoga class
Yoga teacher: Ooh, you've been in that pose for quite a time, Julie. Are you just enjoying it?
Julie, in a strangled voice: No, I'm stuck.
******
In a kitchen
Vegan blogger: I'm thinking of making a vegan lime tart.
Vegan blogger's baking boy: What's in one of those?
Vegan blogger: Looking at the recipe, it's mostly avocado and limes.
Vegan blogger's baking boy: In other words, guacamole.
******
In a park
The littlest's Mummy: Littlest, can you see the ants?
The littlest: Mumble, mumble, mumble.