Bake a Christmas cake √
Throw the Christmas cake in the bin because the oven was at the wrong temperature and there is a definite aroma of charred √
Bake another Christmas cake √
Make mince pies √
Make more mince pies because you ate the first batch √
Buy a Christmas tree √
Return to the garden centre the following day because you can't fit the tree into your ridiculously small car √
Halt Christmas preparations and enjoy a day in London √
Bribe Encourage a baking boy to make a gingerbread house √
Launch an attack on Mount Wrapping √
Re-wrap a pile of Christmas presents because they're oddly shaped and poke through the paper √
Buy lights for the very tall conifer next to the front door √
Realise you haven't bought a long enough string of lights √
Drape lights on the bare branches of the Japanese cherry instead √
Scrap that idea and return to the original plan √
Bribe Persuade a boy to do his artistic best with a short string of lights and a very tall tree √
Attend the hospital for an abdominal MRI scan √
Receive the diagnosis of umbilical hernia √
Bemoan the likelihood of surgery √
Count your Christmas blessings √