love those cupcakes

Jamie and the Giant Peach

I caught the tail end of a discussion on Radio 4 the other day about women who go out with short men (and men who date taller women) and it got me thinking.  I only had one boyfriend who was smaller than me (I'm not that tall, about 5' 9'' ish in my prime ) and I was always conscious of the height difference.  I only ever wore flats and I seem to remember developing the habit of walking in the gutter whilst he stayed on the pavement.

When I was at university I had a friend who was 6 feet without shoes.  It didn't bother her at all that most (probably all, come to think of it) of the lads she was attracted to were considerably shorter than she was. I was always impressed that she "walked tall", whoever she was with, and, when she eventually married, she vehemently rejected the photographer's suggestion to stand her brand new husband on a box!   Incidentally, the bloke I married is a respectable 6' 4'' so I've been able to stay out of the gutters and could easily wear heels if only the dodgy ankles would allow. 

The height difference doesn't seem to matter to Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum and I'm sure there'll be no talk of standing on boxes at their wedding.

I had a quick browse of Sophie's new recipe book whilst in Borders last week

but couldn't decide whether it was a good buy.  So I put it back.

All ears

                                    

I've spent the last three days focused on using my ears.  Listening.  To a lot of people with a lot to say.  At the end of the three days I was exhausted, even though I'd been mostly just sitting, trying to concentrate on what people wanted me to hear and understand.  And I realised that listening, really listening, isn't easy. 

We're so adept at doing several things at once that it's become second nature to only half-listen. How often do you find yourself occupied in a task - maybe in the kitchen, at the computer, in the office - or you're engrossed in a TV programme or book and someone - a child, a spouse, a parent -  starts talking to you?  You don't give them your full attention and only half hear what's being said.  How many times do you mutter agreement, only to have to ask "What did you just say?"  Have you continued doing something whilst someone talks to you on the phone?  And do you ever half listen because you're actually thinking about what you're going to say once the other person eventually shuts up?   I 'm guilty of all of these.  Yet we all have a need to be heard.  And be properly listened to. 

So, I'm aiming to get better at using my ears and really listening.  Because....

 "The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen.Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.  (Rachel Naomi Remen)

And, after all,

"Your ears will never get you in trouble".  (Frank Tyger)